Ooh the Drama!
by Shinigami Baby
Summary: Aeris and Cloud discover their love for eachother, while Yuffie starts to feel rather strangely about Vincent. What the Hell?
1. Default Chapter Title

"Ooh the Drama!" By Stefi-chan 

Aeris rolled over again. She just couldn't get comfortable enough to fall asleep. The bed was soft enough, the sheets were clean enough, but something was missing. Aeris rubbed her shin with the back of her other leg and pulled the blankets up over her shoulder. She tried counting moogles, it didn't work. She tried counting chocobos, it didn't work. She suddenly thought of Rex XIII and fell asleep. 

The next morning, Aeris' sleep was assaulted by a loud knocking at her door. She rubbed her eyes sleepily and groaned. "Come in, it's open." She couldn't recall any conscious thought of why she hadn't locked her door. They were at an inn in a rather shady part of town. Was she waiting? Was she expecting something? It didn't matter now. 

The door slowly opened. "Thought you were gonna sleep all day, hon." Tifa Lockheart. Aeris' best friend... and competition. She walked into Aeris' room past the bed and opened the curtains, letting sunlight into the otherwise darkened room. 

"Good morning, Tifa." Aeris said sleepily. "What time is it?" 

Tifa pointed to the clock on the wall. "Ten past One. You've been asleep all day. Late night?" 

Aeris shrugged. "I just couldn't sleep." 

"Well, your room is right next to Barrett's so that's understandable. The man sounds like he's sawing wood when he's asleep." Tifa fixed the curtains, then sat beside Aeris' bed. "Are you planning on getting out of bed anytime soon? Or do I have to send for Cloud to come get you?" 

Aeris blushed. "He doesn't like me that way and you know it, Tifa." 

Tifa cocked her head to one side. "So you're saying you're not interested in him anymore?" 

"NO!" Aeris shouted. "...Um, I mean, I don't KNOW what you're talking about." She cleared her throat and stepped off the bed. The floor was freezing on her bare feet. "Yeesh, for what we paid, you figure that at least they'd HEAT this place." 

Tifa smiled to herself thinking of ways one could generate heat. "Yeah, well, what can you do?" 

Aeris walked over to the bathroom, slipping out of her nightie. "Well, you can tell everyone that I'm up now. I'm going to take a quick shower, then I'll be right down." She turned the water on. 

"Okay." Tifa got up off the chair and walked out of Aeris' room. She forgot to lock the door behind her. Tifa made her way down the steep stairs to the dining area at the inn. Cloud looked up from a glass of beer he was enjoying with Cid. 

"She awake now?" Cloud asked Tifa. 

Tifa nodded. "Yeah, I woke her up. Girl slept with the door unlocked last night." 

Cloud stood up and slammed his fists on the table, scaring Cid. "SHE WHAT?!? Does she know what kinda town we're in? Someone could have robbed her... or worse." 

"Damn kid, settle down" Cid said, wiping the beer off the table that Cloud had spilled. "She's okay." 

"But I'm supposed to be her bodyguard." Cloud said. 

Tifa frowned. 'Just what is this bodyguard business?' "Oh Cloud, she's a big girl, she can take care of herself." 

Cloud walked past Tifa. "I need to apologize for not protecting her." He said, walking up the stairs. 

Cid shook his head and Tifa hid her face. She didn't want Cid to see the tears. 

Cloud made it halfway up the stairs when he saw Aeris poke her head out of her room. She had all of her hair up in a towel and her face was all red from the steamy shower she had just had. She saw Cloud and smiled. "Hi Cloud!" she said, slightly blushing. 

Cloud frowned and dropped his head, stopping in front of Aeris' door. He got on his knees and grabbed Aeris' hand. 

"Cloud?" Aeris asked. "What are you... doing?" 

"I couldn't keep my promise, I'm sorry." He said, never lifting his head. "I'm a terrible bodyguard and I shouldn't be allowed to protect you anymore." 

Aeris' jaw dropped, so did the towel covering her naked body. She and Cloud blushed as she hurriedly picked the towel back up and threw it around her tiny body. "I-I'm sorry, Cloud." 

"No, I'm the one who's sorry. Not only was I unable to protect you, but I just embarrassed you, too." He started to walk away. 

Aeris grabbed his arm. "Cloud... " 

He turned to face her. "Yeah?" 

She smiled sweetly at him. "I wasn't embarrassed." 

He smiled and went back down stairs. Once Cloud was gone, Aeris fanned herself with her tiny hand. "Woo, now I need a COLD shower." She went back into her room and started changing into her usual pink dress and red jacket. Once dressed, she let her long hair fall out of the towel. She brushed it lovingly, humming a nameless tune. She then gathered it at the back of her head and tied it up, placing her Holy Materia in the center of it. Aeris started to braid her hair when someone knocked, yet again. "It's open." Aeris called. 

The door creaked open and Yuffie came in. "Cloud told me to come up here and tell you we're almost ready to go." 

Aeris smiled. 'I think I made him a little uneasy when he saw me naked... ' "Okay, Yuffie. I'll be down as soon as I'm done doing my hair." 

"I could help, you know." Yuffie said, coming up behind Aeris. 

"That's sweet Yuffie. I appreciate it." Aeris commented as Yuffie started to braid Aeris' long hair. "It gets really hard for me to braid sometimes because it's so long." 

Yuffie smiled. For reasons unknown, even to herself, she admired Aeris. Her sweet temper, her gentle smile. Things Yuffie knew nothing about. Yuffie continued to braid Aeris' hair. "That clasp on top of your tie is very pretty, Aeris." 

Aeris smiled. "Thank you. It was my mother's." She knew Yuffie was referring to the Holy Materia. "It means a lot to me." 

Yuffie looked closer at it. 'Gawd, it looks like Materia, but I've never seen WHITE Materia before... ' Her hand twitched. 

Aeris laughed. "Don't worry Yuffie, it's not useful for anything, so don't try to steal it." 

Yuffie frowned as she finished braiding Aeris' hair. "I-I wasn't... ' 

Aeris smiled and turned to face her. "I know. Well, let's go downstairs, hmm?" She picked up her staff and grabbed her Materia. The two girls left the room and headed down the stairs of the inn. Everyone was down there, waiting on her. "Sorry I took so long, guys." Aeris said, apologetically. 

"Quite alright." Red XIII said. "We've all had to have a room next to Barrett's at least once." Everyone laughed except for Vincent and Barrett. 

"Wha' the Hell so funny? You sayin' I snore, cat?" Barrett said, quite offended. 

"Never mind that." Cloud said, being the voice of reason. "We've gotta go." He walked toward the door, followed closely by Tifa. Cloud stopped short and Tifa bumped into him. "You know Tifa, you could give me some room to breathe." 

Tifa blushed. "Sorry, Cloud." She stepped back a few steps and continued to follow him out the door. The rest of the group followed them outside the inn. 

"Okay, time to split up into parties." Cloud said. "We'll meet at the next town." Everyone nodded, accepting his plan. "Barrett, you take Red and Tifa. Cid, you're with Yuffie and Vincent. I'll go with Aeris and Cait Sith." 

Tifa frowned a bit, wanting to go with Cloud. Yuffie smiled, knowing that she'd have fun teasing Vincent and pissing Cid off. Aeris blushed, surprised Cloud wanted her to go with him. 

Barrett waved his gun-arm, followed by Red XIII and Tifa. "We'll see you in the next town then." He started to walk away. 

Cid nodded. "Okay, troops fall in." He said, jokingly to Vincent and Yuffie. Vincent took it seriously and saluted. "It was a joke, Vincent." 

"Oh. " Vincent said. Yuffie snickered and the three of them headed off. 

Cloud sighed and checked the batteries on the PHS. "Well, are we ready?" he asked, not looking up from the small phone. 

Aeris nodded, as did Cait Sith. "Yeah, we're waitin' on you, Cloud." Cait Sith said. 

"Well, I'm ready now, so let's go." Cloud said, agitated. They got into the buggy and Cloud drove. Aeris sat up front with Cloud, while Cait Sith sat in the back, turning himself off. The entire ride was silent, except when they got out to fight. The sun was coming down and Cloud decided it would be a good idea to set up camp for the night. He went in the back and grabbed a tent for himself, but noticed there wasn't another one for Aeris. He knew that Cait Sith wouldn't mind being in the truck all night, but Aeris? 

"There's only one tent... " Cloud said to Cait Sith. 

The stuffed toy nodded. "Yeah, I coulda' told ya that. Looks like someone's gonna have to sleep in here." 

Cloud shook his head. "Aeris isn't. I'll sleep outside in my sleeping bag. She can have the tent." He went outside and started to pitch the tent, helped by Cait Sith. "I just don't understand... I knew we had more tents than this. Maybe the others took an extra one by accident." 

"Maybe, Cloud." Cait Sith said, patting his stomach where he had hidden the tent. "Maybe... " 

"Oh well, it doesn't matter now." Cloud said, finishing putting the tent up. He went into the buggy. 

Cait Sith shook his head. "Kid's so dense, he's off the atomic scale." 

Aeris was looking at a book she brought with her, 'Flowers And You', when Cloud came back into the buggy. She smiled at him. "Hey Cloud. All set for the night?" 

Cloud nodded. "Yeah. You can go in your tent now." 

Aeris stood up. "Thank you." She made it outside and noticed that only one tent was up. "Cloud, what about you?" 

Cloud shrugged. "I'll manage." 

"Oh no you won't. You get the tent, I'll sleep in here." 

"I don't think so, Aeris. YOU get the tent." 

"No, no, Cloud. I insist." 

"Oh, so now you're too good to take up my offer?" Cloud said. 

"I never said that, Cloud. I just want you to have the tent." Aeris said, defending herself. 

"Well, you aren't going to sleep in here. Go outside and get in that tent, Aeris." 

Aeris shook her head. 

"Look, if you don't go out there and get in it, I'll PUT you in there myself." Cloud said, getting agitated. 

Aeris folded her arms across her chest. "I won't take the tent." 

"You asked for it, then." Cloud picked her up and brought her outside. 

"CLOUD! STOP IT!" Aeris kicked her legs and pounded on his chest. "I won't sleep in that tent, knowing you have to sleep in the buggy." 

He put her down. "I'm not sleeping in the buggy. I'm sleeping outside." 

Aeris shook her head. "No, you're sleeping in the tent, now get in!" 

Cait Sith had just about as much as he could take. "WHY DON'T YOU BOTH SLEEP IN THE TENT?!?!?" 

Aeris and Cloud looked at him, then at each other. "I never thought of that." Cloud said to Cait Sith. 

Cait Sith sweatdropped and went into the buggy. "Well, I'm off for the night. Later, you two." 

"Good night." Aeris said, crawling into the tent. 

"Yeah, 'night." Cloud went in behind her. 

The tent was a little small for two people, but it at least fit both of their sleeping bags in it. Aeris pulled off her boots and took her jacket off, getting comfortable. Cloud took of his boots, armor, and his belt. He laid on his sleeping bag, his hands behind his head. Aeris laid on her side after crawling into her sleeping bag. She watched him stare at the ceiling of the tent for about ten minutes. 

"Cloud?" she asked. 

"Yeah?" 

"What are you thinking about?" 

"Things." Cloud answered vaguely. 

"Like what kind of things?" Aeris prodded. 

"Like you earlier." 

"Oh, I'm sorry I argued with y-" 

"No, earlier than that. Back at the inn." Cloud said. 

"At the inn?" Aeris asked. "Oh! You mean when-" 

"Yeah. I'm sorry I just told you that. You're probably embarrassed now." 

"No I'm not, Cloud." Aeris said "And I'm not embarrassed now, either." 

"You're not?" Cloud asked. 

Aeris shook her head. "No, I'm not. So don't worry about it, okay? It was an accident, not your fault." 

Cloud sat up and unzipped the tent, letting the moonlight in. "Well, I'm just glad that you're not mad at me." 

Aeris smiled at him. "I could never be mad at you." 

Cloud blushed. "Never?" 

Aeris shook her head. "Never." 

Cloud sat back on his sleeping bag and contemplated what to do next. 

Aeris studied his anxious face. "Are you alright, Cloud?" 

Cloud didn't answer, he was too deep in thought. 

"Cloud?" Aeris asked. He still didn't reply. She scooted over to him and waved her hand in front of his face. "Cloud, are you listening?" 

He grabbed her hand at her wrist and pulled her closer to him. He looked into her beautiful green eyes as she closed them, leaning toward his face. Cloud licked his lips and shut his eyes tightly, brushing his lips against Aeris'. She sighed with contentment as she wrapped her arms around his neck. Cloud's arms found their way around her tiny waist and he pulled her even closer to him. 

"I've been wanting to do that since I met you, Aeris." Cloud said. 

"But what about Tifa? I thought that you two-" 

Cloud kissed her again. "She's just a childhood friend, nothing more." 

"She doesn't think that." Aeris commented. 

"Well, she won't be thinking that anymore." Cloud said, caressing Aeris' soft skin on her exposed leg. 

Aeris blushed. "Cloud, I-" 

"Shh. No pressure here. We'll go as slow as you want." He took his hand off her leg. 

Aeris smiled and put his hand back on her leg. "Go ahead. I want you to, Cloud. I've wanted you to for the longest time. Please?" 

A few hours later... He took his time with her, savoring every moment. He had wanted to make love to her since the minute he laid eyes on her, yet just hours ago, it was happening. He looked down at her beautiful face and kissed her lips sweetly. "I love you, Aeris." 

Aeris smiled at him. He was all she needed, even if the world ended, if he was there, she'd be alright. A tear fell from her eye. "I love you, Cloud. I never want you to leave me. Ever." 

"I won't. I promise you." He laid on his back and pulled her over to him. She rested her head on his chest as he stroked her soft hair. He kissed the top of her head and whispered his 'I love you's' to her as she drifted into sleep. 

Meanwhile, somewhere else... 

"GAWD! It was just a joke! Get a sense of humor Vincent!" Yuffie shouted, stamping out of his tent. 

"You seemed awful serious, Yuffie." Vincent remarked. Yuffie growled and ran into her tent. "Why do guys have to be such a big bunch of jerks?" 

Vincent shrugged and laid back down. "What an odd girl." He then had an idea. He sat back up and walked over to Yuffie's tent. "Yuffie, give back my Materia." 

"What makes you think I have it?" She shouted from inside her tent. 

Vincent rolled his red eyes. "Gee, I don't know. Perhaps the fact that you've done it before?" 

"Well, it wasn't me this time!" She hollered, throwing a Counter Materia at him. 

Vincent ducked and sweatdropped. "Well, if it wasn't you... then who was it?" 

"How the Hell should I know? Just leave me alone!" Yuffie buried her head under a pillow. 

Vincent sighed and crawled into her tent. He placed a hand on her shoulder. "Yuffie, I'm sorry for... Are you crying?" 

"No, I'm not >sob< crying." Yuffie shook as he touched her. His hands were so warm for someone with such a cold personality. She lifted her head up from under the pillow and looked at his haunting red eyes. Without the jacket he wore to cover his face, Yuffie noticed he was rather handsome. His bangs were hanging a bit in front of his eyes. The black hair against his pale skin made him look only more beautiful. Yuffie found herself thinking nice things about Vincent. She shyly blushed, then shook her head to clear it of any thought she might regret having. 

"Are you alright now?" Vincent asked. His quiet, deep voice made Yuffie shiver. 

"Y-yeah, I'm fine. You can leave now." Yuffie hurriedly answered. 

Vincent nodded and got up off his knees. He walked toward the exit of the tent. "Good night, Yuffie." He said before leaving. 

"Yeah, good night." Yuffie said, hiding her blushing face. As soon as he was gone, Yuffie let out a sigh of relief. "Get a grip girl, this is Vincent." She told herself. 

Vincent smiled as he walked back to his tent. "Well, I got her back for that little joke she tried to play on me." From his tent, Cid saw Vincent leave Yuffie's tent. "What the Hell?" Cid asked himself. "I don't think I even want to know." He closed his eyes and went to sleep. 

Barrett put out the fire he, Tifa, and Red XIII were sitting around. "Well, I'm tired, so I'm goin' t'bed. 'Night, y'all." He stood up and went to his tent. 

"Yeah, I'm getting tired too." Tifa said with a yawn. She stretched a bit and went inside her tent as well. Red XIII went to his tent and fell asleep. 

Laying down, Tifa found herself thinking of how the others were doing. "Yuffie's probably teasing Vincent or making Cid angry. Cait Sith is most likely off for the night." Then she thought of Cloud and Aeris. "I wonder what those two are up to? Maybe they're talking about the ancients or Sephiroth or something." A sudden thought occured to Tifa. She knew that Aeris liked Cloud, and that Cloud was rather fond of her. She didn't know if they would ever progress beyond uncomfortable blushing, but they were alone now. No one was around them. "Would they make their feelings known to eachother?" Tifa asked herself. "Cloud... I wonder if you feel the same way she feels about you." 

** "You know Tifa, you could give me some room to breathe." ** 

Cloud's words echoed in her head. 

** "I'll go with Aeris and Cait Sith." ** 

'Did he do that on purpose?' Tifa wondered. 

** "He doesn't like me that way, and you know it, Tifa." ** 

Aeris's voice re-played earlier that day. Earlier still... 

** "Right. With Cloud." ** 

** "The deal was for one date, right Cloud?" ** 

Tifa's fists clenched. 

** "Cloud's star and Aeris's star, a perfect match!" ** 

Cait Sith. A fortune teller. Is that the future? 

Tifa then remembered what she had over heard Cid saying to Cloud one night at an inn. 

** "So, which one do you like better?" 

"Better? What do you mean, Cid?" 

"You know, Cloud. Which girl do you like better? Aeris or Tifa?" 

"I like them both." Cloud answered simply. "... but I do love one of them." 

"Oh yeah?" 

"Yeah." 

"Who?" 

Tifa decided to stop listening in at that point. She wanted it to be a surprise when Cloud would tell her that he loved her. ** 

'Some surprise.' Tifa thought. 'Oh well, it's not like I didn't see this coming a mile away. I've seen the way he looks at her. He's never looked at me like that, with such tenderness... such love. All I am is the girl next door, the childhood friend. It's high time I noticed that.' Tifa rolled onto her back and fell asleep. 

The next day, that afternoon... 

Cid sat in the living room of the inn that the group had decided to rendezvous at. He eyed Vincent with suspicion. 'Just what the hell went on between him and Yuffie last night? Hell, it's none of my business, I'll just forget about it.' 

Vincent felt Cid's eyes on him as he paced the floor. 'What's his problem?' Vincent wondered. 'Maybe he's out of cigarettes.' 

Yuffie watched Vincent out of the corner of her eye as she polished her Materia. 'Gawd he's fine... Shit! What am I thinking?!?' Yuffie kicked herself in her mind just for thinking such things. 'Still, he is kinda cute. I wonder if he was seriously trying to come onto me last night? Well, can't say I blame him. Just look at me! I'm waaay hotter than Tifa OR Aeris.' She smiled to herself and continued to polish her Materia. 

At that moment, Barrett and Red XIII walked in with Tifa. Barrett waved his gun arm at Cid and sat down on the couch with him. "Hey man, Spikey-Ass ain't here yet?" 

Cid shook his head. "Nope. And he's NEVER late. I wonder what's the hold up?" 

Cloud rolled over and placed a protective arm around the sleeping Aeris' waist. He had no idea what time it was. He didn't care either. He didn't want to move from that spot for anything. The previous night, she had given him a beautiful gift and for that he would always love her. He sighed with contentment and kissed her hair. 

Aeris stirred. She stretched out a little and rolled over to face Cloud. "Mmmm, good morning." She snuggled closer and kissed him on the cheek. They stared at eachother for a small portion of eternity, then decided to get ready to leave. They put on their clothes and took the tent down, bringing it into the buggy. As she walked by, Aeris flipped on Cait Sith's 'on' switch. 

The stuffed moogle/cat wiggled a little bit, then stretched out its arms. "*yawn* 'Mornin' all." He said. "I trust you two slept well?" 

Aeris blushed and waved a hand in front of her face, giggling. Cloud raised his eyebrows and started the buggy. "Slept?" Cloud said. "Heh, barely." 

"Hah! See Ah told you! You two ARE a perfect match, I was right!" The toy exclaimed, proud that his prediction came true. 

Cloud smiled as he continued to drive. "Yup. You were right." He patted Aeris' leg and smiled at her. 

She returned his smile and opened her book. 

"Wooooo-eee! Wait 'til the gang hears about this one!" Cait Sith said. 

Cloud and Aeris snapped their heads in his direction. "NO!" They both shouted. 

"W-why not?" Cait Sith asked. 

"It's not something to talk about in front of people. When a man and a woman meet, it's their private moment. It's not to be shared with anyone." Aeris said, trying not to blush. 

"Well, it was shared with me!" 

"That's only because you guessed, Cait Sith." Cloud said. "Tell no one. If they guess it out of nowhere, that's fine. But it's our business, not theirs." 

"Oh okay... just take all the fun outta life, why don'cha?" Cait Sith grumbled. 

A few hours later, they reached their destination. The three of them got out and stretched, then walked wearily into the inn. 

Barrett looked up from his lunch. "Well it's about damn time y'all decided to show up. Whu' th' HELL was the hold up?" 

"Car trouble." Cloud lied. "The, uh, the buggy ran out of fuel and we had to find some." 

Tifa saw right through that excuse. "Cloud, there's always an emergency supply in the back, you know that." 

"Yeah, I know. We just... had to look for it." Cloud said. 

Tifa folded her arms. "I'm sure." 

"Well, they're here now, so what difference does it make?" Red XIII said, trying to maintain some sanity in this derranged group of people. "Let's just eat and get ready to leave again, ok?" 

"Fine by me." Cloud pulled out a chair for Aeris, which she sat in. He took the seat next to her. 

Yuffie eyed them suspiciously. 'Something happened between those two... ' 

Vincent bent over into Yuffie's ear. "Is this seat taken?" He breathed into her ear. 

Yuffie shivered and pointed to the chair next to her. "N-nope." 

Vincent smiled and shook his head as he sat down. Cid didn't know what to think, so he said the first thing that came to mind. 

"You two fucked, didn't you?" 

Cloud, Aeris, Vincent, and Yuffie all spit out their water and looked at Cid, blushing. 

"Wow" Cid said. "Didn't expect THAT reaction." 

Tifa slammed her fists on the table. "CLOUD, HOW COULD YOU?!?!" 

Cloud blushed. 

Aeris thought she'd die right there. "Oh my... " She blushed a deep red and found a fun spot on the hard wood floor to look at. 

"I was talking about Vincent and Yuffie, not you two." Cid said. 

Yuffie ran outside she was so embarrassed. "OH MY GAWD!!!!" She shouted from outside. 

Everyone looked at Vincent. 

"What?" Vincent asked, taking a bite of his food. "why is everyone looking at me?" 

"Cradle robber!" Cid shouted. 

"Cradle robber? One who robs cradles?" Vincent asked. "I've never robbed a cradle." He honestly had no idea what the hell a cradle robber was. 

"You're screwing that little girl, aren't you?" Cid asked. 

Vincent coughed up a bit of food. "Excuse me?" 

"We've all seen the way you flirt with her, Vincent. You're sacking up with Yufiie aren't you?" Barrett asked. "Merciful Heavens no!" Vincent shouted. "My only love is Lucrecia, I would never give myself to any woman but her!" 

Everyone was silent for a brief moment before Tifa smartly remarked. "Yeah right." 

Vincent scowled and continued to eat. Now that he thought about it, Yuffie wasn't all that bad. Sure, she was difficult at times, but she was free-spirited and care-free. He had admired that. 'Dear me, what on earth am I thinking?' He thought. 'She is still a teenager. I can't allow these thoughts.' Vincent shut his eyes tightly and never opened them, fearing he'd see Yuffie. Everyone at the table looked at Vincent and shrugged, then resumed their meal. 

Tifa eyed Cloud and Aeris suspiciously. 'Traitor... ' she thought about Aeris. 'She knew I liked Cloud. How could she do this to me. I'll get him sooner or later.' Tifa smiled to herself. 

'Am I the only NORMAL one here?' Cid thought. 

'Damn, man... Vincent and Yuffie? That's just damn scary.' Barrett thought to himself. 

Outside the inn, Yuffie blew her nose again and hiccuped. "I have never been so >hic< embarrassed in my >sniff< whole life! GAWD, that Cid sure has nerve. I'll show him a thinger two... no one messes with Yuffie Kisaragi and gets away with it!" 

A young man walked over to Yuffie. "Excuse me, but I couldn't help but over hear you. Did you say you were Yuffie Kisaragi?" He had on a blue suit and carried a rod with him. His eyes were blue and his hair was a fiery red. 

"Yeah, I'm Yuffie." Yuffie said. "What's it to ya?" 

"Nothing." He said. "I'm just a fan." 

"A fan?" 

"Yeah. A big fan. I was wondering if maybe you could come to my place. I want you to meet my friends." He said, smiling. 

"Sure, I'll go with you." Yuffie said. 'Pal around with some Shin-Ra oppressors and suddenly I'm famous. Cool.' 

"It's just this way." He led her into a small house. "Have a seat, Yuffie." 

Yuffie sat down at the table in the small, dirty kitchen. 'Looks like this house has been abandoned... ' she thought. "So, like, where are your friends?" 

The young man smiled. "They'll be here soon. Just relax." Yuffie didn't see the Seal Materia in his hand until she fell asleep. 

Aeris was drinking some tea in the living room of the inn when she thought she saw someone she knew. "Tseng?" she called to the man going out the door. 

Cloud looked at the guy, then at her. "You know that guy?" Cloud put on his 'Don't- Touch- My- Girl- Or- I'll- Punch- Your- Lights- Out' face on as he put a protective arm around her shoulder. 

"I thought I knew him. Oh well, it must have been someone else. Tseng would have at least said 'hi'." Aeris said. 

"Hmmm... where's Yuffie? She still hasn't come back yet." Red XIII noticed. 

Everyone looked at Vincent. 

"WHAT?" he asked. 

"It's YOUR fault. You should go find her." Tifa said, folding her arms. 

Vincent sighed and stood up. "FINE, but this doesn't mean anything." 

"Whatever." Cid remarked, face in a magazine. 

Vincent rolled his red eyes and walked out the door. The second he stepped out he heard his name. 

"Valentine." 

Vincent turned his head in the voice's direction. "L-Lucrecia?" 

end part 1 

Ooh, the drama. Originally this was supposed to be a love story between Aeris and Cloud, but I just had too much fun. SO, I've decided to make a fun little series out of it. Hope you enjoyed it and part 2's coming soon! =^_^= Questions or comments can be mailed to my e-mail address JessiTeamRocket@AOL.com. LATER! 


	2. Default Chapter Title

Wow! People actually READ this... and they like it! I'm quite shocked... but anyway by increasing demand, I've started THIS VERY INSTANT on part two. Enjoyyyyy! 

"Ooh, the Drama" part 2 By Misa-chan with SeiferCross 

"L-Lucrecia?" Vincent couldn't believe it, but there she was. Lab coat and all. 

"Vincent... " 

Vincent ran to embrace her, but she faded and he instead hugged a rather heavily endowed woman. "VINCEEEENT! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!?" Tifa shouted, pushing him away. 

"Wha? TIFA! Oh dear me, I'm terribly sorry!" Vincent apologized. 

"Yeah right! All I did was come out here to help you find Yuffie and you molest me! What kind of pervert *are* you?!?" 

Vincent grabbed his head. "WHY IS EVERYONE CALLING ME A PERVERT?!?!" 

"SHUT UP, PERVERT!" Cid growled from the window. "Go find Yuffie so we can leave!" 

"Argh!" Vincent groaned. "No point in arguing, it's a doomed battle... " 

"Oh? So you're admitting you're a pervert now?" Tifa asked, hand on her hips. 

Vincent growled, literally. Tifa took this as her cue to stop teasing him. "Well, where should we look first, Tifa?" 

Tifa shrugged. "I dunno. Maybe the Materia Store?" 

"Good idea." Vincent took off down the street and found the Materia Store. He walked inside, followed by Tifa. The two of them surveyed the area, but no sign of Yuffie. Vincent went up to the clerk and cleared his throat. "Pardon me but-" 

"One minute." The clerk said, agitated. 

" 'One minute?' " Vincent echoed. He was growing impatient. He slammed his clawed hand down on the counter, causing the clerk to drop a crystal bangle. 

"S-sorry, sir, Can I help you?" The clerk asked. 

"I'm looking for someone. Maybe she came into your store?" Vincent asked. 

"What's she look like?" 

"About this tall with short black hair and crazy green eyes... and a goofy-looking smile. Seen anyone like that?" Tifa asked. 

The clerk thought for a moment. "Yeah. She was with these two hot guys and a blonde chick. Funny thing was, all of 'em were wearing blue suits." The clerk said. "... except for that girl you described. She was in a green shirt and khaki shorts. One of the guys was carrying her cuz she was asleep." 

"Asleep?" Tifa asked. 

"Yeah. They said she fall asleep and they were taking her home. Why?" The clerk asked. But Vincent and Tifa were long gone. They had already made their way back to the inn. 

Tifa busted in(pardon the pun) with Vincent behind her. Everyone looked up at the two of them. 

"Find her?" Cloud asked. 

Vincent nodded. "The Turks have her." 

"So it WAS Tseng! Oooh I'll kick his ass!" 

The group looked at Aeris. No one had ever seen her mad OR heard her swear. She blushed at the attention and cleared her throat. "I mean 'Oooh, I'll kick his butt!' " They all sighed and shook their heads. Aeris smiled and laughed nervously. 

"Well kids, let's go then, I'm not hangin' around this damn inn one more minute." Cid said, getting up. 

"Okay, so, who's going to get Yuffie?" Cloud asked. 

"It's my responsibility. I'm DEFINITELY going." Vincent said. 

"I'll go, too." Tifa said. "I may not like her much, but she's one of us." 

"I'm coming too!" Aeris piped up. "Yuffie may be a little weird, but she looks up to me. I can't let her down." 

Cloud didn't like the idea of Aeris going there without him, but he knew that Vincent and Tifa would watch her back. "Okay, you three are going to the Shin-Ra building. Barrett, Cid, and myself will check Junon. Red XIII and Cait Sith, we'll meet you two at Cosmo Canyon." 

Tifa hopped on top of the Tiny Bronco, followed by Vincent. Red XIII and Cait Sith got in the buggy. Barrett and Cid got on the Highwind. 

"MAKE IT QUICK, KID, WE GOTTA GO!" Cid shouted down to Cloud. 

"I'LL BE RIGHT UP!" Cloud answered him. He looked back at Aeris and took her hands into his. "Please be careful, Aeris." 

"I'll be just fine, Cloud. Don't worry about me." She kissed him lightly on his lips. "YOU be careful." 

Cloud chuckled. "I'll be okay. You'd better go." 

Aeris didn't want to go. "Oh, okay..." 

Cloud pulled her in for one last kiss before he boarded the Highwind. Aeris ran over to the Tiny Bronco and hopped onto a wing, careful not to get her dress wet. As the Highwind took off, Cloud leaned over the side. "AERIS!" He called. 

Aeris looked up and waved at him. 

"PLEASE BE CAREFUL!" He shouted one last time. Aeris smiled and blew a kiss at him. Tifa watched the whole thing, rather unamused. 

"Are we ready to go now, or what?" Tifa said, slightly annoyed. 

Aeris and Vincent nodded. Tifa started theTiny Bronco and they rode it in the direction of Midgar. Tifa kept her eyes infront of her at all times. Aeris was starting to seriously wonder just what the hell her problem was. 'She can't be mad at me for being Cloud's girlfriend, can she?' Aeris wondered. She looked over at Tifa again. Tifa continued to stare ahead, not even acknowledging her presence. 'Hmm, maybe she CAN.' Aeris thought. 

Vincent played with his guns while the Tiny Bronco skittered across the water. A smile played on his lips as he pulled out his baby: the Silver Rifle. 'Ah... it may appear to be a child's plaything, but watch out. Critical Hit City, watch out. Vincent Valentine's comin' to town.' Vincent sighed outloud, as he carresed the barrel of the... water gun. He brought it up to his lips and kissed it gently. "I love you, greenie." He said softly to the toy gun. 

Aeris decided to scoot over onto the other wing. 'Okay, he's freakin' me out now... ' Aeris thought. She had seen this man transform into living abomidations before her eyes and it never seemed to phase her, but seeing this just made her worried. 'Freak-a-zoid...' Aeris thought. 

Tifa felt Aeris shift from one side of the Tiny Bronco to the other. 'Why am I being so damn mean to her?... Well, it does feel pretty good. YEAH! She's had this coming to her! Cloud's mine, not hers. I just need to help him realize the mistake he's made... ' "Heheheheheee." Tifa giggled. 

Aeris looked at her and noticed Tifa was smiling. 'Hmm, maybe she isn't angry with me afterall... ' 

Cid looked ahead and sighed. "I'm all out of Lucky's... Hey Cloud?" 

Cloud looked up from shining his boots. "Yeah?" 

"Run to the Chocobo stable for me and grab me some of the straw from the floor." 

"HUH? What the hell for?" Cloud asked. 

"JUST DO IT!" Cid shouted. Out of nowhere, a man in a suit handed Cid a handful of money. 

"uh, Cid, man, whu' th' HELL was that guy here for?" Barrett asked, puzzled over it. 

Cid smiled. "No reason." He put the cash in his pocket and patted it. "Now Cloud, GO." 

Cloud got up off his butt and ran to the Chocobo Stable. He picked up a handful of straw from the floor and re-entered the control room. "Here it is, but I still don't-CID!" 

Cid snatched the straw from Cloud's hand and lit it on fire. "IF I DON'T SMOKE SOMETHING, I'M GONNA DIE!" 

Barrett smacked the straw down and steped on it. "Damn, man! Jes' calm down, you can't possibly need a smoke THAT bad, can ya?" 

Cid shot Barrett an angry stare. "You've never smoked before, have you?" 

"Guys, guys, can't we just forget about-" 

"SHUT-UP, CLOUD!" Both men yelled. 

Cloud shrugged and walked over to the helm and flew the Highwind the rest of the way to Junon. The Highwind landed and Cid did his trademark run into the small town. He was laying on the ground panting by the time Barrett and Cloud caught up with him in front of the elevator to the top part of Junon. 

Cid coughed a bit and then resumed his wheezing. "Maybe I should >wheeze< cut down to two packs a day?" 

Cloud and Barrett sweatdropped and helped the human ashtray up. Barrett handed the elevator operator 10 gil and they rode up to Upper Junon. 

"Where should we check first, y'all?" Barrett asked. 

"I think we should try that bar. We're all well aware of Reno's drinking problem." Cloud said. 

The two men with him nodded. They walked the streets of Junon until they reached the bar the Turks liked to hang out at. Cloud peeked around the doorway. Sure enough, there was Reno. He was seated at the bar with Rude. The two of them were talking, while Reno took shot after shot. Rude watched in embarrassment. 

Cloud came up behind the two men, tapping Reno on the shoulder. "Hey, where's Yuffie at?" Cloud asked. 

Reno turned around. His face was inhumanly red and he had a stupid grin plastered on his normally handsome face. Reno squinted at Cloud as a little bit of drool fell from his mouth. "Hey lookit, Rude >hic<. It'sh th-that guy." Reno leaned in closer to get a better look at Cloud, just to make sure his suspicions were correct. Cloud pulled his head back at the smell of Reno's rather offensive breath. 

"Good God, what did he drink? Paint thinner?" Cloud asked. 

Rude sighed. "Among other things, yes." He took a sip of his milk and looked at Cloud through his sunglasses. "If you're looking for that damn annoying girl, we left her with Elena and Tseng to deal with. Reno said he was going to die if he didn't have a drink. The crazy girl was driving him insane." 

As Rude finished his sentence, Reno fell off the barstool he was sitting on. "They should make floorsh more shofter, whaddya think, Rude?" Reno slurred. 

Ride sighed and picked Reno up off the floor. "We're going back to the inn, I'm cutting you off." He looked behind himself at Cloud and his group and shook his head. "See you guys later, when we're in condition to fight." 

Cloud nodded and watched Rude and the drunken Reno depart. 

"Well that was a damn dead end... AND I'M STILL OUTTA SMOKES!" Cid remarked. 

"At least we know she's with Tseng and Elena. Not too much of a dead end if you ask me." Cloud said, pulling out the PHS. 

"Well, I didn't ask you!" Cid stormed out of the bar to the store across the street. 

"Okay, I'll give ya 3 guesses as to what he's doin' right now." Barrett said. 

"I don't even need one guess." Cloud said, walking out onto the street. He dialed the numbers on the PHS and called Tifa and her group. 

The PHS rang again. Tifa rolled over in her sleeping bag and reached a hand out from under the covers. She put the phone up to her ear. "Hullo?" She said, half-asleep. 

"Tifa? It's Cloud. Re-group at Cosmo Canyon, we know Tseng and Elena have Yuffie, but we don't know where." Cloud instructed. 

"Do I have to leave now?" Tifa asked, rubbing her eyes. 

"YES!" Cloud hung the phone up and pressed the elevator button. The doors opened and he and Barrett got in. Cid ran from down the street. 

"WAIT ONE FUCKIN' MINUTE!!!! " Cid shouted, running as fast as he could. 

"Damn, Cloud. Why do you always do that?" Barrett asked. 

Cloud smiled in amusement. "I get a kick out of the way that guy runs." 

Later, at Cosmo Canyon... The Shildra Inn- 

"All I'm saying is that it was rather unnecessary to be called in the middle of my beauty sleep to come down here. This could have waited until morning." 

Tifa scowled at Vincent. "This is Yuffie we're talking about, not some THING. And don't you care about her?" 

Vincent looked at Tifa. "Of course I do, we ALL do." 

"You know damn well what I mean, Vincent, don't play dumb." Tifa said. 

Vincent shook his head. "My emotions died when I was supposed to." 

"I think you're lying." Tifa said. 

"I think you like her!" Aeris chimed. 

Vincent and Tifa rolled their eyes. "Look, do you want to know what's going on between me and Yuffie?" Vincent asked the two pretty girls sitting on either side of him. They both nodded intently. "Well, I'll tell you... NOTHING." Aeris and Tifa fell off their stools. 

"We're heeeere." Cid said, walking into the inn and puffing on a cigarette. 

Tifa and got up off the floor and sat at a table near the door. Aeris ran past Cid, almost knocking him over. She jumped into Cloud's already open arms and gave him a kiss. "Ooooooh I missed you!" Aeris screamed, squeezing the life out of Cloud. 

"I...Missed...You...T-too." Cloud breathed. He put his arms around the short girl and sat with her at the table. Vincent remained sitting at the bar, while everyone else sat at or around the table. 

Within minutes, Red XIII and Cait Sith joined them. "Well, I found out where Tseng and Elena are." Cait Sith reported. "They're headed for the Temple of the Ancients with Yuffie." 

"But why?" Tifa asked. "She's not an Ancient." 

"No, she's not... they have another 'use' for her." Cait Sith said. 

At the Temple of the Ancients... 

"GAWD, why did you take me here? And dammit, where's Vincent and the others?" Yuffie demended. 

Elena sweatdropped and Tseng explained his little plan. "Don't you get it, Kisaragi? We need you to steal the black materia from Cloud once he gets here with that Ancient." 

"Steal Cloud's materia? Hmmm... " Then Yuffie remembered what happened last time she stole their materia. Tifa and Barrett happily hung her from the bottom of the Highwind while Cid flew very close to the ground. Yuffie could still taste the bugs in her mouth. "Ugh, I'll think about it." Yuffie said as she began to walk out of the Temple. 

"HEY! Where are you going?!" Elena shouted. 

"TA GET SOME AIR! YOUR PERFUME'S KILLIN' ME!" Yuffie shouted back. 

Elena blushed. She was only wearing the perfume because she knew Tseng liked it. 'Maybe I did go a little overboard with the perfume this morning, but when I found out that I was going on a mission ALONE with Tseng, I just couldn't help it.' Elena sighed, thinking of Tseng... who was standing right there. "Oh Tseng... " she whispered. 

"Elena?" Tseng said, rather confused. 

Elena snapped to attention. "Oh, heh, sorry." Elena blushed even deeper. 'Crap, does he know?' 

"Elena, how about dinner after this mission's done?" Tseng asked. '>whew<, I finally asked her.' 

"Y-yes. That sounds like a good idea. I'd love to." Elena replied. 

"But first, we've got to take care of her stubborness. I think Hojo can help us with THAT." Tseng said, getting back to talking about work. 

Yuffie ran outside the Temple of the Ancients. "GAWD, she put on enough perfume to kill a horse... " She sat down on a rock and caught her breath. "I know I'm the best thief in the world... but to steal the Black Materia? That's jiust downright scary, even for me." 

"Excuse me, little girl... did you say 'Black Materia'?" A voice asked. It was the most intimidating voice Yuffie had ever heard. She shivered at the man's deep voice and turned around to answer him. She looked up and saw a pair of the most menacing blue eyes. 

"Oh my GAWD!" Yuffie screamed. "HEEEEEEEELLLLLLP!!!" 

Tseng and Elena looked up from the keystone area and looked outside. "What the Hell?" Tseng said. Elena ran outside to look at what was going on. "Shit, Tseng, it's Sephiroth!" 

Tseng took a deep breath and walked calmly down the stairs toward Sephiroth. He could hear Elena's screams behind him, but he paid it no mind. He stopped dead in front of Sephiroth and their eyes met. "Sephiroth, I presume?" Tseng asked. 

"That would be me, worthless human." Sephiroth said with a smirk. 

"TSEEEENG!" Elena cried. She started to run down the stairs. 

"You won't get the black materia, Sephiroth." Tseng said. 

"Really?" Sephiroth asked. 

"Not while I'm alive anyway." 

Sephiroth smiled his evil smile. "Good, I was hoping we could see things the same way." He drew his Masamune and held it out infront of him. "It's a duel." 

Tseng nodded and took out his shotgun. "Let's get this over with." 

Tseng got in the first hit with a shot to Sephiroth's arm. The fight soon ended when Sephiroth ran Tseng through with the Masamune. Tseng's eyes opened wide and he coughed out some blood. Sephiroth withdrew his sword from tseng's body and sheathed it. 

"Pity. You didn't put up much of a challenge." Sephiroth remarked. He then started to walk up the stairs to kill Elena. "Time to get her as well." 

Tseng rolled onto his back and aimed the gun at Sephiroth's legs. "I don't think so!" He took a shot and got Sephiroth in the back of his knee. 

Sephiroth fell onto some stairs and grabbed his wounded leg as Elena ran by him. "Tseng! Tseng are you okay?" Elena yelled as she ran to him. 

Tseng sat up a little and coughed up some more blood. Elena held him from behind, cradling his back against her chest. He looked down at the ground. "Elena... soon I'm going to join the planet. I want you to take Yuffie and run back to Midgar. Get Hojo to brainwash her. >cough< I can only buy you some more time." 

Tears formed in Elena's eyes. "I won't go without you, Tseng!" 

Tseng closed his eyes. "Just... just go, Elena..." Blood trickled from his mouth and he gasped one last time. 

"Tseng?" Elena shook him. "Tseng?!?" 

"He is dead. Leave now while I'm feeling generous, woman." Sephiroth stated, looking at the Temple of the Ancients. 

Elena stood up, Tseng's blood stained all over her blue suit. She looked at Yuffie, who was just staring in total shock and cast a sleep spell. She picked the sleeping girl up and walked to the Turks helicopter. 'I have to be strong... for Tseng.' Elena thought. The helicopter took off leaving Tseng, Sephiroth, and the Black Materia. 

end part 2 


	3. Default Chapter Title

"Ooh, the Drama" part 3 By Misa-chan with SeiferCross 

Sephiroth walked down the corridor to the pillar which contained the Black Materia. He couldn't believe his eyes. "It's... not here?" He asked himself out loud. Sephiroth was expecting what looked like regular materia, but what he saw on the pillar was nothing more than a model of the Temple. "DAMN it... that woman must have it. I should have killed her while I had the chance... no matter. I'll get her soon enough." With that, he sank into the floor. 

Aeris rolled onto her side and cuddled closer to Cloud. 'He's so cute when he's asleep... ' She thought. It was very dark in their room, except for the vague light of the moon shining through the curtains. Aeris got out of bed and went into the bathroom. 

The door to Cloud and Aeris' room opened slowly and an intruder snuck in. The figure crept across the floor until it reached the bed. It got into the bed and laid down. In his sleep, Cloud rolled over and threw an arm around the figure. Aeris left the bathroom and went to get back into the bed. "What the...?" She turned on the bedsode lamp. "TIFA!?" 

Tifa looked up and saw Aeris hovering over her. "What are you doing here, Aeris?" 

"I could ask YOU the same thing, you hussy!" Aeris shouted, pulling Tifa by her hair out of the bed. 

Tifa fell to the floor with a loud thud, this woke Cloud up. "What the Hell is going on?!?" 

"What do you THINK is going on, Cloud?!? Tifa decided to crawl into bed with you!" Aeris said, putting her hands on her hips. 

Tifa looked at Aeris. "Oh please! I wouldn't want to get into Cloud's bed if my life depended on it!" 

Aeris slapped Tifa across the face. "YOU'RE LYING!" 

"OWW!" Tifa howled. "I'll get you for THAT you goody-two shoes!!!" She ran at Aeris and knocked her feet out from under her. Aeris hit the floor hard. "Oooh you meany!" Aeris dove at Tifa's head and scratched at her face. 

"AAAAGH!" Tifa yelled. She held her face where Aeris had just scratched her. She looked at her hand and wiped the blood on the bed sheets. "You scratched me, you little whore!" 

"I'M A WHORE? LOOK IN THE MIRROR YOU SILICONE INJECTED SKANK!" Aeris screamed. "And you have NO shame, either, letting your tits hang out of your shirt like that! AND at least you could wear some panties with that short-ass skirt of yours!" 

Tifa growled and went to punch Aeris in the stomach, but Cloud got in the way. "Cloud, move." Tifa said. 

Cloud shook his head. "I'm not moving, Tifa. Not until you apologize." 

"ME apologize?" Tifa asked. 

Cloud folded his arms. "Yup." 

"Why should I have to... oh, alright. Aeris I'm sorry for sneaking into your room. There. BUT I will not apologize for beating you up OR saying that stuff. I don't think I should have to." Tifa said. 

Aeris huffed and tied her robe tighter around her waist. "Well, I'm going outside to get some air." She got up off the floor and walked out of the room. 

Cloud took a deep breath and sighed. "Aeris, wait... " He said, following her out the door, naked as can be. 

Tifa admired the view, then left the room and went back to her room. 'Didn't hurt to try... at least I saw Cloud naked, and WHAT A MAN!' Tifa thought. 

Yuffie woke up on a cold metal table, lights suspended above her head. The room smelled like medical supplies and ramen. She turned her head and saw Hojo slurping on some noodles. Yuffie tried to get up so she could hand his ass to him, but she couldn't move. Hojo had strapped her to the table. "GAWD, why am I here?" Yuffie asked outloud. 

"Because" Elena said from the balcony "You are going to get us the Black Materia... like it or not." 

"What? What are you talking about?" Yuffie asked. 

"Well, do you know our pal Vincent Valentine?" Hojo asked, wiping his mouth. 

Yuffie nodded. "Of course I do." 

Hojo smiled and covered Yuffie's mouth and nose with a plastic something and before she knew it, she was asleep again. 

Several hours later, Yuffie woke up with a bangage wrapped around her head. She felt dizzy. She looked around her surroundings. She was no longer on the cold table, she was in a hospital bed now. "Gawd, what happened to me?" She asked herself. 

At that moment, Elena and Hojo walked into the lab. Hojo walked up to Yuffie, his hands behind his back. "Hmm, you're awake." 

"Yuffie, you can go now. We realize that we have no use for you afterall." Elena said. Yuffie was relieved and saddened to hear this. Happy because she could leave, sad because she had 'no use'. Yuffie got up off the bed and grabbed her shuriken. She backed towards the doorway, to make sure they were actually going to let her go, then ran out of the building. 

"She'll go straight to her friends. Then, the Black Materia will be ours." Elena said. 

Hojo only chuckled to himself. 

Yuffie ran her fastest until she was clear out of Midgar. She stopped by a tree and caught her breath. ">wheeze< Gawd, I've got to get... back to the >wheeze< others... " She panted. Yuffie began to run again when she spotted the Highwind. Yuffie moved out into a clearing and waved her hands above her head. "GUYS! I'M DOWN HERE!" She shouted. 

Cid sat up on the deck, having a smoke. "Why the hell was I put on Yuffie-Watch? This isn't fuckin' fair." Cid grumbled. Earlier that day, Cloud assigned Cid to watch out for Yuffie in the Highwind. Cid wasn't too crazy about the idea, but it took some reasoning to get him to do it: a carton of cigarettes and a flask of whiskey. Cid was more than happy to oblige Cloud. Cid was about to go back down below when he heard an unmistakable voice. 

"GUYS! I'M DOWN HERE!" the voice called. 

Cid threw a rope down to her and Yuffie climbed up. ">whew< Thanks, Cid." She laid down on the deck. "I went through Hell." 

"So what exactly happened, and what's with the bandage around yer head?" Cid asked. 

Yuffie felt her head. "Oh! I forgot about this thing." Yuffie then explained to Cid what had happened. 

Later on that night... 

"Oh Yuffie, I'm so glad you're safe!" Aeris squealed, hugging the young girl half to death. "Are you alright? Those Turks didn't do anythign to you, did they?" 

"No, Aeris, I'm fine." Yuffie said, prying Aeris off of her. "Were you all really that worried about me?" Yuffie asked. 

"Of course we were!" Aeris said. "Weren't we, guys?" 

Everyone sweatdropped and quickly nodded. "Uh, we sure were." "I couldn't sleep at night." "Man, I'm glad you're back, Yuffie." 

Yuffie smiled. "What about you, Vincent?" 

"Um, yeah. I'm happy you are safe, welcome back, Yuffie." Vincent said, not really feeling it. 

"Well, we really gotta go to bed, guys. It's late and we need to get up early." Cloud said. The group went to their rooms, Yuffie went to Tifa's room and slept on the extra bed. 

"Think she's back by now?" Elena asked. 

"Maybe." Hojo answered. "Let's try it, shall we?" He pushed a small red button on a black rectangular box. 

Yuffie's eyes snapped open. "...black materia... black materia... " she whispered, getting out of her bed. She silently left her and Tifa's room, then snuck into Cloud and Aeris' room. She rummaged through Cloud's belongings until she had found it. She studied it closely, then put it in her bag. 

Elena walked back into the laboratory to tell Hojo something when she noticed red stains all over the walls and floor. Elena gasped and covered her mouth. 'My God... all this blood... 'she thought. She turned around quickly to run out of the building when she saw Sephiroth. 

Sephiroth walked toward Elena, carrying Hojo's decapitated head. The blood left a trail as he walked. "Elena, was that your name?" Sephiroth asked, dropping Hojo's head. 

Elena couldn't find words so she just nodded. Sephiroth smiled slyly and sheathed his Masamune. "You were with Tseng and that girl at the Temple, correct?" 

"Y-yes." 

"The black materia wasn't there... was it?" 

"No. I think Cloud and his friends beat us to it." Elena said. 

Sephiroth's smile faded. "I think you left the Black Materia with that girl. You know Elena... lying is a sin." 

"I-I'm not lying!" Elena said. "She really doesn't have it!" 

Sephiroth unsheathed the Masamune and pointed it at Elena's neck. "Tell me where she is, and maybe I'll spare you." 

"Sh-she went off to rejoin Cloud and the rest of AVALANCHE." Elena said. 

Sephiroth lowered his mighty sword. "You've been most helpful." He turned around and started to walk away. Elena watched him turn from her. Then, in one quick movement, Sephiroth spun back around, his sword extended. Elena grabbed the Masamune, trying to pull it out of her stomach, but she soon stopped struggling when the life left her body. 

"Tseng... " she gasped, hitting the ground. "...I'm >cough< coming to meet you." 

Sephiroth turned away from her now lifeless body and began his pursuit of Cloud. 

end part 3 

I know, I know. "It's too short!" Well, I'll make part 4 nice and long for yas. PROMISE! Ja ne! 


	4. Default Chapter Title

"Ooh, the Drama" by Misa-chan with SeiferCross 

Cloud woke up the next morning with Aeris sleeping peacefully beside him. He sat up and stretched out his arms and legs. Cloud yawned and got up out of the bed, gathering his clothes up off the floor. He then walked into the bathroom and turned the shower on. 'Man, I've got to get this crap off me... ' Cloud thought, wiping the dried up mud off his body. 'Who knew Aeris was gonna attack me outside and violate me in the mud? I'm not saying I minded... it was just unexpected.' He finished showering and got dressed, then walked back into the bedroom. 

"Aeris, wake up... " Cloud sat beside her on the bed and shook her gently. 

Aeris rolled over and smiled at Cloud, rubbing her eyes open. ">yawn< Good morning, Cloud." She said. "What time is it?" 

"I dunno. It's early, I know that much." Cloud replied. "We've got to get moving soon, we've gotta keep the black materia away from Seph-" Cloud felt around for the black materia, but it wasn't there. "WHAT THE HELL?!?" He shouted. 

Later that morning, everyone was sitting at the table, wondering where the black materia could have gone. 

"You're all a damn bunch of numb skulls, you know that?" Cid finally spoke up. "Haven't you noticed that a certain Miss Yuffie isn't here?" 

Cloud smacked his forehead. "Damn! I never should have trusted her." 

Meanwhile... 

Yuffie ran through the forest, never stopping to catch a breath. In her hands she held the black materia. Her eyes had a vacant look, not the usual sneaky sparkle. The way she was moving was almost mechanical. She continued to run toward the ShinRa building. 

Somewhere else... 

"Ooh, I'm so mad! I was almost sure I wouldn't have to track that wussy Cloud down!" Sephiroth slouched. "Now I have to get my cool clothes all dirty and mess my hair... THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT CLOUD STRIFE!" Sephiroth shouted into the sky. He continued to walk along the forest path. "Friggin' A, why can't I have a neat airship or something? Even a lame-ass pink plane that can't fly with a stupid name would be better than walking." Sephiroth stopped dead in his tracks. "What the hell am I doing? I can FLY!" And with that last remark, Sephiroth flew up into the air. 

Another somewhere else... 

Rude walked with Reno up the stairs in the large building. They turned a corner in the long hallway and went into the room labeled 2-A. Reno looked at Rude worriedly. Rude put a supportive hand on his friend's shoulder. 

"It's okay, man. It'll be over before you know it." Rude said. 

Reno sighed and opened the door. "Hi. My name's Reno... and I'm an alcoholic." 

"Hi Reno." The people in the room greeted him. 

Back with the group... 

Cloud sighed. "I really hate this idea, guys, but-" 

"You are not making us look for that damn little sneak again, Cloud!" Barrett protested. 

"But there's no other way!" Cloud yelled. 

"Well, let's just think for a minute before you go splitting us up again. If Yuffie took the black materia, what would she do with it? She can't summon meteor or anything like that. I think Yuffie's going to sell it to the ShinRa. It makes perfect sense." Tifa said. 

Everyone was silent. Tifa NEVER has an idea, let alone a good one. Cloud nodded. "Good idea, Tifa. Let's do that then." 

"Well, we can't go strollin' 'round in the fields, you'd better split us up." Barrett said. 

"..." Cloud replied. "Uh Barrett, we're all going in the Highwind." 

"Oh." Barrett said. 

Soon, everyone boarded the Highwind and headed for Midgar. Aeris stood in the control room nervously. 

"Aeris, are you okay?" Red XIII asked her. 

"I've never had to parachute before. Is it scary?" Aeris asked. 

"It's terrifying." Red XIII simply answered. 

"WAAAH!" Aeris cried. 

"I was only... oh, nevermind." Red XIII said. It was always hard for everyone to tell if he was joking or not. 

Vincent walked into the control room and Aeris ran past him. He watched her run up to the stairs. Vincent sweatdropped. "What's her problem?" He asked. 

"She's afraid of parachuting into Midgar." Red XIII said. 

"Me too." Vincent said, shaking. "If I were meant to fly, I'd have wings, damn it." 

"Uh, Vincent?" 

"Yes Cid?" 

"When you transform you have wings." Cid said. 

"Oh... " Vincent said, suddenly remembering his Chaos form. "I suppose you are right." 

Cid scratched the back of his head. 'I guess out of a lycanthrope, a clone, a guy with a damn gun for an arm, a member of an almost extinct race, an overinflated bartender, another member of an almost extinct race, and a stuffed cat, I'm the only normal one here.' He took a drag off his cigarette and looked over the group. '... Yup. I AM the only normal one here.' 

Sephiroth looked ahead and saw the Highwind. "Hmmm... that looks an awful lot like the Highwind." He then noticed the writing on the side of the ship. It read 'This is not the Highwind'. "Oh well, maybe I was wrong." Sephiroth said as the ship flew past him. 

Inside the Highwind... 

"I still think that painting that message on the side of the ship won't be of any help, Cid. Sephiroth isn't stupid." Cloud said. "I mean, c'mon now: 'This is not the Highwind'? Sephiroth is gonna see right through that." 

"WELL IT'S WORTH A DAMN TRY!" Cid shouted. 

Cloud sweatdropped. 'Why do I argue with this man?' He thought. 

Outside... 

"Heyyy... that was one dirty trick!" Sephiroth flew back in the direction of the Highwind. He flew by the large window up front and waved to everyone in the control room, smiling. Everyone waved back, then screamed. 

"EEK! IT'S SEPHIROTH! HOLD ME I'M SCARED!!!!!" 

"BARRETT, GET OFF ME!" Tifa wailed, trying to pry the big man from her. 

"Sorry, Tifa. I jes' git scared s'mtimes." Barrett apologized. 

"Well, go get scared on Cid or something!" Tifa shouted 

Barrett looked over in Cid's direction. 

"Oh no ya don't!" Cid said. "I've got a ship ta fly!" 

Somewhere in the middle of all the arguing, Sephiroth phased through the window and onto the ship. 

"Will you all please stop arguing so I can kill you?" Sephiroth asked, hands on his hips. He was growing rather impatient. "I don't have all day. I still have to feed JENOVA, clean my house, water the flowers-" 

"Wow! You like flowers too, Sephy?" Aeris asked. 

"Yes I LOVE flowers... and don't call me 'Sephy'!" Sephiroth said. 

"Ooh, I love flowers too!" Aeris said. 

"Well then, my plans are foiled. I just simply can't kill a fellow gardener, whether she's an Ancient or not... " 

"Yaaay!" Aeris said. "Looks like I won't be dying after all!" She looks at the author. "I can't believe you were actually thinking of killing me! I'm your favorite!!!" 

Misa-chan sweatdrops. "Sorry Aeris, shame on me." She continues to write... 

"You may not be dying, but I came up here to fight, and by golly, that's what I'm gonna do." Sephiroth said. "I may be cool, but I'm still the bad guy. I don't want to get TOO out of character." 

"Hmm, good point." Cloud agreed. "Okay Sephy, let's fight then." 

"Okie-dokie" Sephiroth said. "... and don't call me 'Sephy'!" 

"Sorry Sephers." Cloud apologized. 

"Oh, hey that's not too bad. I like 'Sephers'." Sephiroth commented. 

"ARE YOU TWO MORONS GONNA FRIGGIN' FIGHT OR WHAT?!?" Cid shouted. 

"Oh, right. My bad." Sephers said. He drew his Masamune and pointed it at Cloud. "It's a duel!" He sang a la Final Fantasy 6 (that's 3 in America). 

The two men engaged in a sword fight that lasted for about 20 minutes. Sephiroth started to breathe heavily. 

"Sephers, are you okay?" Cloud asked. 

"I'm just hungry, that's all." Sephers said. 

Cloud folded his arms across his chest. "You didn't eat breakfast did you?" 

Sephers shook his head. "Nope. I just didn't have time." 

"NONSENSE!" Barrett shouted. "There's ALWAYS time for breakfast, y'all!" And with that, Barrett grabbed his 'Kill the Chef' apron and began flipping pancakes. 

Everyone sat down on the floor and ate their pancakes. "Wow" Sephers chewed. "These are really good." 

"Of course they are, they're mah special recipe! Just a pinch of gunpowder!" Barrett declared. 

"Who knew that gunpowder could be so yummy?" Red XIII said, licking his plate clean. 

Sephiroth sat back and unbuckled his belt. "Woo, I'm too full to move." He said, rubbing his belly. 

No one noticed that Vincent wasn't there. 

"Damn imbeciles, looks like I'll have to find Yuffie myself." Vincent thought outloud as he ran through the fileds to Midgar. He reached the guard at the gate. 

"Excuse me, sir? Do you have clearance to pass through?" The guard asked. 

Vincent frowned. "Clearance?" 

"Yes, 'clearance'. If you aren't authorized, I can't let you through." 

Vincent stamped his foot. "But this is an emergencyyyyy!" He whined. 

"Too bad. You need authorizAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGHHHHHH!" 

Vincent removed his claw from the man's intestines. "There's my damn authorization." He moved the dead body to the side with his foot and stepped into Midgar. Vincent walked through the town until he reached the ShinRa building. He went inside and covered his mouth to keep himself from gagging. The floors and walls were bathed in blood. "Looks like Sephiroth came here looking for us." 

Vincent explored the ShinRa building until he reached Hojo's lab. He looked down and saw Hojo's head. "Eeeeww!" Vincent said, disgusted. He stepped over Elena's dead body and caught a wiff of her perfume. "Pee-yoo! I'll never understand why Tseng liked that crap." He then made it over to the control room and looked over the various buttons and knobs on the panels. 

"Hmm, I wonder what this one does." Vincent pushed an orange button and a coffee maker shot up out of the counter. "Hey, this thing's pretty cool." He continued to push more buttons and various things would shoot out of the walls, come down from the ceiling, or pop up out of the floor. Among these things were a CD player, a TV, a blow-up doll, and a naked lady pen. Vincent sat in the chair and played with the naked lady pen. "Heehee, clothes come on, clothes go off." He said, turning the pen around. Then he heard something behind him. Vincent turned around, dropping the naked lady pen. "Hey Yuffie, I've been looking for you." 

Yuffie just stared blankly at him. 

"Yuffie?" 

"...." 

"Are you okay, Yuffie?" Vincent shook her. 

Yuffie blinked a few times, the looked up at Vincent. "V-Vincent? Why am I here? I don't remember anything... " 

"Don't lie! You stole the black materia and ran here to sell it to the ShinRa... but now there is no ShinRa." Vincent was confused. "Yuffie, just what the hell is going on?!?" 

"I don't know! All I know is that Elena kidnapped me and brought me here. I fell asleep and when I woke up, they said they had no use for me... so they let me go. I was reunited with you and the others, but after I went to bed that night, I can't remember anything!" Yuffie turned away. "Everyone always blames me for everything. No one even likes me." 

Vincent looked at her. 'Is she crying?' "Yuffie, that's not true. We all like you. Aeris adores you, and even though Cid doesn't show it, he does too. He's always telling me how boring missions are unless you're there to lighten things up." 

Yuffie sniffed. "Yeah?" 

"Yeah." Vincent said. 

"Well, what about you, Vincent?" Yuffie asked. 

"I came here for you, didn't I?" He asked. "What does that tell you?" 

Yuffie turned to face him and hugged him tightly. Vincent tensed up at first, but then returned Yuffie's embrace. "I'm sorry that I'm always causing so much trouble." Yuffie said. 

"You wouldn't be Yuffie if you didn't." Vincent said, smiling. "Come on. Let's get back to the others." 

Yuffie nodded. "Okay." She grabbed his hand. 

Vincent blushed, then wrapped his fingers around her hand. "Alright." They left the ShinRa building and headed back for the Highwind. 

"Are you ready to fight again, Sephers?" Cloud asked. 

A loud wail erupted from the bathroom. 

"Hmm, guess not." 

"Barrett" Aeris asked "What else did you put in those pancakes that would make Sephiroth so... runny?" 

"How th' hell should I know?" Barrett replied. 

Cid snickered. 

"Ciiiiiiiiid... " everyone scolded. 

"Whaaat?" Cid asked. 

Tifa folded her arms. "What did you do to Sephy's pancakes?" 

"Nothing really... just some Ex-Lax..." Cid said quietly. Out of nowhere, a nicely dressed man appeared and handed Cid a suitcase. 

Cid opened it. "Thanks man." 

The suit-clad man nodded and jumped off the deck, opening his parachute. Everyone watched him go, then turned to Cid. 

"Uh, Cid?" 

"Yeah Cloud?" 

"What the hell was that about?" Cloud asked. "...HEY! I've seen a guy in a suit give you money before too!" 

"Yeah." Barrett agreed. "Right after he said-" 

"-'Just do it'." Cloud finished. 

Suddenly, a guy in a suit popped up and handed Cloud a fistful of money. Cloud was a bit confused, but took it anyway. 

"I GET IT!" Aeris shouted. "Those are product representatives! Watch this!" Aeris cleared her throat. "Make 7... Up yours!" 

Just as Aeris' suspicions were correct, a man in a suit handed Aeris a stack of money. 

"HEY! That's pretty cool." Red XIII said. "Meow meow meow meow, Meow meow meow meow" Then, a suit guy popped up, he gave Red XIII some money. 

"This sure beats killing monsters!" Cloud said. 

"Bud" Cait Sith started. 

"Weis" Red XIII continued. 

"Errrr" Barrett finished. 

Each of them recieved money from a man in a suit, who'd go away as quickly as he came. Cid looked unamused. "YOU GUYS SUCK!" He shouted. 

"What's wrong, Cid?" Aeris asked. 

"That was my secret way to get money! Now all you friggin numbskulls are gonna abuse it!" Cid answered. 

Sephiroth emerged from the bathroom. "Ugh, I feel sick." 

Tifa walked over to him. "Oh, it's okay, Sephy." 

Anger swept across Sephiroth's face. "I SAID DON'T CALL ME 'SEPHYYYYYYY'!!!" With that statement, he ran Tifa through. "HAH! That time I got ya!" Then he phased down into the floor, then out of the Highwind. 

"Crap..." Tifa said. "I think he got me good." She looked down at what was once her chest. 

Everyone's jaws dropped. 

"YAAY!" Aeris cheered. "My boobies are bigger than yours!" 

"I knew they were too big to be real." Cid said. 

Barrett looked at the puddle at Tifa's feet. "Water balloons?" 

Tifa nodded. "Well, it kept guys in the age range of 12-18 intrested in the game!" 

Everyone fell anime style. 

end part 4 


	5. Default Chapter Title

Okay, just a warning here. I was in an EXTREMELY silly mood when I wrote most of this... 

"Ooh, the Drama" Part 5 By Misa-chan 

Tifa sat in the captain's chair crying her eyes out. Barrett patted her on the shoulder. "Don' worry girl. We all have... secrets. Yours just popped out... literally." 

Tifa blew her nose. "This isn't fair! My boobs were my only asset! Now all I am is a ditzy airhead that likes to kick things. >sniff<" 

Cid handed her another box of tissues. "That's okay. That's all I saw you as to begin with." 

Tifa blew her nose hard into the tissue. "Thanks Cid... I think." 

Cid smiled and patted her on the head. He then walked over to Aeris and Cloud. "So, Mr. and Mrs. Spikey-Ass, where do you think Sephiroth went?" 

Cloud shrugged. "Home, most likely. He hates being sweaty after a fight. He probably went home to take a shower." 

"... And his ass isn't spikey. Believe me, I know." Aeris said, playing with Cloud's hair. He kissed her on the cheek. 

"Mmmm... Sephiroth in the shower...." 

"Barrett, did you just say something?" Cloud asked. 

Barrett blushed. "N-no, I didn't." Barrett went back to writing 'Barrett loves Sephy' in his little notebook. 

"Whatcha writin' in that lil' book of yours, Barrett?" Cid asked. 

"Battle plans." Barrett replied quickly. 

"Oh." Cid said. "Cool." 

Meanwhile... 

Vincent trudged through the swampy area of the Midgar Zolom. He sighed heavily. 'For such a small person, you think she'd weigh less.' He thought as he carried Yuffie on his back across the water. 

"Gawd, Vincent, could you go any slower?" Yuffie complained. 

"Well, if you'd like to walk, I'd be more than happy to oblige you. I just figured that I'd be a gentleman and carry you across." 

"Nope, I'm good." Yuffie said, not wanting to walk in the icky water. "You know what?" 

"What?" 

"We are practically running away from a lot of money." Yuffie said. 

"How do you figure?" 

"I see it this way: think of the gil we could get if we skinned one of those zoloms." 

Vincent sighed. "Then skin it on your own. I'm far too tired to want to fight anything right now." They made it to the other side of the bank and sat down for a moment. Yuffie fidgeted through all her belongings until she found some dried meat. 

"Want some?" She held it out to Vincent. 

He looked at it curiously. "What is it?" 

"It's dried meat, you know, like jerky." Yuffie handed it to him. "It's good." 

Vincent eyed it suspiciously. "Hmm, well I guess it won't hurt to try it." He pulled down his coat collar, exposing his delicately beautiful face and opened his mouth. He took a bite and chewed the piece off the rest of the dried meat. 

Yuffie watched him eat. 'Wow, those fangs are sexyyy... GAWD what am I thinking?!?' she thought. 

"Hey, it's pretty good." He handed it back to Yuffie. "A little spicy, but good." 

Yuffie smiled and took a bite of it. 'Oh my GAWD!!! My mouth is where Vincent's just was... I'm practically kissing him!!!' she thought. She started to lick the dried meat. Vincent just stared. 

'Maybe that's how it's supposed to be eaten.' He thought to himself. 

Yuffie felt his eyes on her and realized that she was making out with a piece of dried meat. She blushed and put it away. "Well, are you ready to keep going?" She asked. 

Vincent nodded. "Yes. Let's get going before we have to camp out here." The two of them got up off the ground and walked into the Mythril Mines. 

Somewhere else entirely... 

Sephiroth walked into his house and threw the Masamune onto the couch. He peeled his clothes off as he walked to the bathroom. He grabbed the shampoo and the soap, then got in. He turned the water on and began to wash the sweat off his body. "Ahhhh" Sephiroth moaned in satisfaction. He leaned his head up into the hot water, letting it beat against his face. 

"Son..." A ghostly voice said. 

"AAAGH!" Sephiroth ripped the shower curtain down and covered his... equipment. "Who's there?!?" He looked around the bathroom and saw Hojo sitting on the toilet, holding his head. "HOJO!?!? What are you doing in my bathroom? I KILLED you! And why are you calling me 'Son'?" 

"Because your my uncle, why do you THINK I'm calling you 'Son'?!?" Hojo snapped. 

Sephiroth shrugged. "Okay, so what do you want?" 

"Get the black materia and summon Meteor." Hojo said. 

"Riiight, about Meteor..." Sephiroth said. 

"What about it?" Hojo asked. 

"Well, I did some thinking, and I've come up with this: I can't very well become a God if there's no one around to worship me." Sephiroth said. 

"Yeah... and?" 

"And I've thought of a better way to go about ruling the world instead of destroying it." Sephiroth said. 

"Oh God, no" Hojo said. 

Sephiroth put his hands on his hips in disgust, making the shower curtain fall. "You haven't even listened! No wonder why I killed you! Some terrific dad you are!" His rather impressive... unit shocked and amazed Hojo. 

"WOW! Are you sure your MY son?!?" Hojo yelled..."I'm sorry. So, what's your little plan?" 

"Pssh! Like I'd tell you." Sephiroth said. 

"You just said you were going to!" Hojo said. 

"I know. I've changed my mind about telling you, that's all." He started to put the curtain back on it's track. 

Hojo growled and threw his head on the floor. "DAMN KID!" And with that he vanished. 

Sephiroth shrugged and continued to shower. He took his back scrubbed into his hand and sang into it. "Here I am! Rock you like a hurricane! Ba ba ba ba ba ba! Here I am! Roooock you like a hurricaaane!" 

Reno ran out of the AA meeting screaming. Rude got up out of his chair and looked at the other alcoholics. He raised a finger. "Please excuse us." He backed away to the door, then ran out after Reno. "REEENOOOOO!" Rude shouted. 

Reno kept running. "I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE! I NEED A DRIIIIIIIIIIIINK!" He cried, jumping over stair wells onto landings until he was out of the building. 

Rude sighed and kept running after his friend. "Come on Reno! Slow down, will ya?" 

"NO WAY!" Reno shouted. "I'D RATHER JOIN AVALANCHE THEN QUIT DRINKING! IT'S WHO I AM, IT'S WHAT I DO!!!!" 

Rude realized it was hopeless. He shook his head and walked the streets of Junon until he reached the inn. The cute little desk clerk looked up at Rude and smiled. "Where's your cute friend?" She asked. 

"Huh?" Rude asked. 

"Oh, you know. The sake machine." She said, putting the end of her pen in her mouth. 

"Oh, you mean Reno? He fled his first Alcoholics Anonymus meeting today. I couldn't catch up with him." Rude sighed. 

"Reno? That's his name?" 

Rude nodded. The clerk laughed. "What?" Rude asked. 

"Is his last name 'Nevada'?" She giggled. 

Rude frowned. "Yes... Why?" 

She fell to the floor with laughter. "And what's your name? 'Orlando Florida'?" 

"No, it's Rude." Rude said. 

She laughed even more. "Your name is an adjective?!?!?" 

"... Yes." 

She wiped some tears from the laughter away. "Oh God, that's funny. So what's your full name? 'Rude Dude'?" 

Rude shook his head. "No. It's Rude Ruderson." 

The clerk picked up the telephone and called one of her friends. "Hey, it's me Stefi. You won't believe this. I got two guys staying at the inn. You won't believe their names: Reno Nevada and Rude Ruderson." She laughed into the phone. 

Rude could hear another girl wailing with laughter on the other end. He sweatdropped and went into his room. 

Sephiroth leaned over the sink while he brushed his long silver hair. He was bouncing around while he brushed. "I like to sing-a about the moon-a and the June-a and the spring-a! I like to sing-a! With the sky all blue and tea for two... " He went into the cabinet and took out his hair gel. He spiked his bangs straight up halfway and dried them, letting the top part fall over. He blew himself a kiss into the mirror and winked. "Damn, I'm fine." He put on his black bathrobe and walked out into the kitchen. "Ah, what do we have here that ol' Sephers can eat?" 

He opened the fridge. "Hmmm, let's see... frozen JENOVA cells, some Mako... AH! Here it is!!!" Sephiroth reached into the back of the fridge and pulled out a clear tupperware bowl with a pink lid. He removed the cover and put the bowl into the microwave. When it was done heating, he took it out and smelled it. "Ahhh, heaven!" Sephiroth sighed. He grabbed a fork and ran to the couch and put on his favorite show. "The world can wait. PASSIONS is on!" He ate the left-over chili and sang along with the theme song. "Breathe in breathe out... You keep me aliiive... You are my Passion for liiiiife!" He continued to watch his soap opera. 

Aeris and Tifa sat in the TV room on the Highwind watching Tenchi. Aeris took another handful of popcorn. 

"You know what, Tifa?" 

"Hmm?" 

"I think Tenchi's gay." 

"Why do you say that, Aeris?" Tifa asked. 

"Look at it this way: He's got all these girls living in his house, 2 of which are absolutely CRAZY about him, and what does he do about it? Nothing. Did you ever wonder why he has never chosen between either girl? It's becuase he doesn't WANT either girl." 

Tifa nodded. "Makes perfect sense." 

Aeris smiled. "Yup." 

"Here's another one: Makoto from El-Hazard." Aeris shook her head. "Nah. He likes Ifurita." 

"Not in the Wanderers." Tifa said. 

"Yeah, but he likes Princess Rune in that one." Aeris explained. 

"Ohhh. Okay. Well, what about Taba from Geobreeders?" Tifa asked. 

"I don't know. I've just started to watch it. I only got the first tape a few days ago... but I think he likes that cop girl what's-her-name." 

"Eilie?" Tifa asked. 

"Her name is Eilie?" Aeris asked. 

"Yeah." 

"Like 'Eilie' from Suikoden 2?" Aeris asked. 

"Yup." 

"Oh cool." Aeris said. 

Tifa nodded. "I think we watch too much anime and play too many video games." 

Aeris shrugged. "Maybe, but who cares? It's fun!" 

Cloud walked in. "Hey, what are you guys talking about?" 

"Oh, you know. Boring girl stuff, Cloud." Aeris said. 

"Ah" Cloud grabbed a drink from the fridge and sat down near Aeris. "Tenchiiiii? You're watching Tenchi?" 

"Mmm-hmm" Tifa said, grabbing some popcorn. "Aeris says he's gay cuz he won't choose between Ryoko and Ayeka." 

"Hmm, I wouldn't say he's GAY. Confused, perhaps, but not gay." Cloud said. 

"You're just saying that because you couldn't chose between me and Aeris for a while." Tifa commented. 

Cloud shook his head. "I always knew who I wanted." 

Tifa snorted. "Yeah right." 

Cloud slouched. "Aw, man." 

Yuffie and Vincent left Gongaga after stopping in to eat some real food. Yuffie rubbed her stomach with one hand and stretched with the other. "Ahh, that was good, huh?" 

Vincent nodded. "It was alright. Not the best sushi I've had, but whatever." He twirlied his gun in his hand efortlessly as he and Yuffie walked through the forest. "...Did you hear that?" 

"Hear wha-" Yuffie was suddenly pulled down. Vincent put a finger on her lips, then on his, instructing her to be quiet. The two of them peered through the bushes and saw... 

"No, no, no, no, NO! I'm not going back there!" Reno complained. 

"But Reno!" Rude started. 

"And don't you 'But Reno' me, either! I'm sick of those damn meetings!" 

"You barely went to ONE meeting!" 

"I KNOW! And it made me SICK!!!" Reno shouted, throwing his arms up in the air. 

"Come on, let's get back to the ShinRa building. I'm sure Tseng and Elena are there with the brat." Rude said. 

Yuffie looked at Vincent and pointed to herself, as if to ask that they were talking about her. Vincent nodded. 

"Do you think they brainwashed her into stealing the black materia yet?" Reno asked. 

Yuffie looked down at the black materia and frowned. 

"Probably. Hojo could do anything he wanted, really." Rude commented. 

Reno shrugged. "All I know is that I'm getting hungry. I hear the restaurant here serves a good drink." 

Rude rolled his eyes. "Fine." The two Turks walked into Gongaga. 

Once they were out of sight, Yuffie stood up, shaking her fist. "OOOOOH! I'll get THEM!" 

Vincent sweatdropped. "We'll get them later, right now we need to get back to the group. Come on." He grabbed Yuffie's hand. 

She blushed. "Okay." 'Gawd, he's touching me! I could die right now and I wouldn't mind!!!' 

Vincent looked over at the blushing Yuffie. "Uh, are you okay?" 

Yuffie nodded. "I am now." 

Vincent seemed confused, but he just shrugged. 

Cait Sith ran down the steps in the Highwind, then went into the control room where everyone was for the moment. "Hey, I found them!" 

Cloud looked at Cait Sith. "Found 'who'?" 

"Vincent and Yuffie. They're down on the ground walking from Gongaga." Cait Sith explained. 

"Oh." Cloud said. "Cid, land the Highwind." 

Cid did just that. 

Yuffie looked up. "OH MY GAWD! IT'S GONNA LAND RIGHT ON US!!!" 

Vincent grabbed Yuffie by her arm. "RUN, DAMN IT!" 

The two of them ran until they were out of the range of the Highwind. Yuffie checked her pulse. ">huff< Gawd, I thought we were gonna >wheeze< die over there." 

Vincent laid on the ground, hand over his heart. ">gasp< Tell me about it." 

Cloud jumped down off the deck. "Hey guys. Where have you been?" 

Yuffie threw a rock at Cloud's head. 

"OWWW!" Cloud shouted. "Why'd you do that?!?" 

Then Vincent threw a rock at Cloud's head. 

Cloud fell to the ground. Cid and Barrett carried him inside, followed by Vincent and Yuffie. 

Later on... 

"Oh wait, tiiiime out!" Cloud said. "You were brainwashed?" 

Yuffie nodded. "Yeah. That damn Hojo did it." 

"Ooh, you two have something in common. Hojo did something to each of you." Aeris nudged Vincent and winked while she looked at Yuffie. Vincent sweatdropped and Yuffie blushed. 

"THERE you guys are! I've been looking EVERYWHERE for you guys!" Sephiroth said as he came up through the floor. He was in a black bathrobe, carrying his Masamune. "I'm ready to finish our fight now, Cloud." Sephiroth said. 

"Um, Sephers, aren't you forgetting something?" Cloud asked. 

"Yeah, like clothes?" Aeris added. 

Sephiroth waved a dismissing hand at them. "Oh, clothes don't make the man... thank God in Barrett's case." 

Barrett frowned. 

"So what does make the man, Sephers?" Tifa asked. 

"Looks. Lucky for me, Cloud, Vincent, and Reno, huh?" Sephiroth said. 

"Tseng was good-looking, why did you kill him?" Cait Sith asked. 

"Because... Tseng sucks." Sephiroth said simply. 

"Oh." An enlightened Cait Sith replied. 

"HEY!" Cid shouted. "What about me? I'm sexy!" 

Everyone laughed. 

"What?" Cid asked. 

end part 5 


	6. Default Chapter Title

Okay, kids, this is it: the finale! Aww, don't be sad. It'll be okay. =^_^= 

"Ooh the Drama" part 6 by Misa-chan 

Reno and Rude finally made it back to the ShinRa building only to discover that everyone was dead. Rude scratched the back of his bald head. "Hmm, I guess it was good luck that we weren't here." 

Reno shrugged. "Either that or the writer really likes us." The two men looked up and around as omnious music played. "Did you hear that, Rude?" 

Rude nodded. "Yeah. It was my walkman." 

"Oh. Okay." Reno continued to survey the area. "So what kind of villian do you suppose did this?" 

"It was Mrs. White, in the study, with the revolver." Cloud said. 

Sephiroth threw down his cards. "WAAAH! You ALWAYS win!" He threw his 'Mrs. White' piece at Cloud. 

Cloud ducked and it hit Barrett right in the eye. "Owww!" 

"Sooooorry." Sephiroth apologized, then snickered. 

'Why is love so cruel?' Barrett thought. 

"Wanna play again, Sephers?" Cloud asked. 

Sephiroth folded his arms across his chest. "No, because you cheat!" 

"Aw, I'm sorry, man." Cloud apologized. "So, tell me more about this world domination thing of yours." 

Sephiroth's face lit up. "Well, you see..." 

Hours later... 

"I see." Cloud said. "Well, I can't very well stop you, so I'll just have to go along with it." 

"Thanks for understanding." Sephiroth said, smiling. 

"Okay Reno, this place is freakin' me out now!" 

"Of course it's freakin' you out, Rude. There's dead bodies everywhere." Reno said. He pushed another button. "Where's my damn naked lady pen?!?" 

Rude shrugged. "Well why do we have to stay here?" 

"I need my pen back! Hojo stole it from me and now's my chance to finally get it back. That pen is very dear to me." Reno explained. 

"But why?" 

"Because" Reno said "I bought it at the bar the first night I turned 21." 

"Ohhh I get it." Rude said. 

Reno nodded. "Now do you see? I NEED that pen!" 

Rude continued to look through the junk, helping Reno look for his naked lady pen. 

"... That's why we wanted to OK it with you first Cid. So can we?" Sephiroth asked. 

Cid shrugged. "Well, if it's for the greater good of the planet... I guess so." 

"YAY!" Sephiroth cheered. He jumped in the air, causing his bathrobe to come up, giving everyone on board a generous view of his... well, you know. Aeris, Tifa, and Yuffie stood and stared in awe. Barrett shot the three girls a dirty look that went unnoticed. 

"GAWD Sephers, why don't you just pose naked for all those dirty magazines? You'd make a killing!" Yuffie said. 

"Or he could become a porn star." Tifa remarked. 

"No one ever cares what I want!" Sephiroth shouted. "DAMN THIS BEAUTIFUL BODY OF MINE!" He bit his thumb and pulled his robe back down to cover his manhood. "We're doing this MY way or everyone dies, got that?" 

Everyone nodded. 

"HEY!" Vincent shouted. "I just thought of something!" 

Everyone looked at him. "What is it, Vinnie?" Yuffie asked. 

Vincent sweatdropped. "Please don't call me 'Vinny'... anyway I was just wondering when you killed everyone in the ShinRA building, Sephers, did you kill Reeve too?" 

Sephiroth shook his head. "Nope." 

"Why not?" Vincent asked. 

"Because he's got a cool goatee." Sephiroth said. 

Everyone fell anime style. 

"HEY! You guys are alive?!?" Reeve shouted from behind Rude and Reno. The two men turned around to face Reeve and nodded. 

"Kick ass! They didn't get you, Reeve." Rude said. 

"Of course not. I've got a cool goatee. The villian never kills the cool guy." Reeve said. "Oh, by the way, Reno are you looking for this?" Reeve held out Reno's naked lady pen. 

Reno ran toward Reeve and snatched the naked lady pen out of his hands. "Where was she?" He asked, stroking the pen softly as if it were a dear child. 

"I found it in on the controls. I thought it was cool so I took it, thinking you were dead. Because let's just face it: naked lady pens are COOL!" Reeve explained. The other two Turks nodded and the three of them ogled the naked lady pen as if they'd never seen a real female naked. 

Sephiroth held Tifa's head over the sink. 

"It hurts, Sephers!" Tifa shouted. 

"Relax... it'll be over in just a minute, then it's YOUR turn." He pointed to Yuffie. 

"Aw man..." Yuffie said. 

Cloud busted into the bathroom. "SEPHIROTH!" Then he calmed down. "What the hell are you doing?" 

Sephiroth smiled. "Washing hair and changing minds." 

A suit-clad gentleman popped up and handed Sephy a briefcase full of money, then he was gone. 

Later... 

Cloud walked toward the control room and cleared his throat. The door opened before him and he stepped into the room and looked at Cid. "WASSUP?!?!" 

Cid turned from the controls and shouted. "WASSSUUUUUUP?!?!?" 

Barrett waved at the both of them and hollered. "WASSSUUUUUUUUUP!??!?!" 

Vincent sighed as the suit guy ran by with money for the three of them. 

Even later... 

"Come on Cloud! Just leave her and be with me!" 

"No way, Tifa! I love Aeris! If you don't like it, you can get N or get out!!!" 

Tifa slapped Cloud across the face. "THAT'S A NINTENDO COMMERCIAL YOU TRAITOR!" 

The Nintendo guy handed Cloud the briefcase of money, then hopped out a window, opening his parachute. 

That night... 

Sephiroth sat on top of a pile of money, holding a calculator. He pressed away at the buttons and squinted through his little spectacles. A smile played across his lips. Sephers pulled the spectacles off and raised his arms. "I did it, guys!!!" 

A few hours later... 

Cid landed the Highwind near Midgar and the group waited for their delivery. Sephiroth was about to go inside when he saw the truck off in the distance. "IT'S HERE! IT'S HERE! NOW I CAN TAKE OVER THE WORLD!!!" 

The truck drew closer, then stopped infront of the Highwind. Reno got out of the driver's side, then Rude and Reeve got out on the passenger's side. Rude looked at his clipboard. "Order for Mr. Seperot..." 

Sephiroth frowned. "It's SEPHIROTH." 

"Sorry. Order for Mr. SEPHIROTH." 

Sephiroth raised his hand. "That's me." 

"Sign here, please." Rude handed him the clipboard. "Thank you." 

Reno and Reeve pulled a large canvas off the enormous square-shaped box to reveal... 

"The world's largest Karaoke machine????" Cloud asked. 

Sephiroth smiled. "I'm gonna be a rockstar!" 

"You're going to take over the world-" Tifa started. 

"-By becoming a rockstar?" Aeris finished. 

Sephiroth smiled. "Yup." 

In the end, Cid went back to Rocket Town and married Shera. Tifa opened a bar in Nibelheim with Barrett running an inn upstairs. Red XIII went home to Cosmo Canyon and seceeded Bugenhagen as elder of the village. Reeve became the new president of ShinRa Inc. and re-named it 'Reeve Kicks Ass Co.'. It's logo is a toy cat riding a moogle. Reno eventually overcame his alcoholism. Rude lives in Junon with the girl who made fun of his name. Yuffie went home to Wutai and opened a materia store, Vincent runs a gun-shop in the same building. Cloud and Aeris got married and moved into the villa at Costa Del Sol............And Sephiroth became a rockstar. THE END 


End file.
